molasses
A poke at somebody or something moving like cold syrup out of a jug.
Also called slow as molasses, molasses in January.
Updated September 24, 2026
molasses pronunciation
/muh-LASS-iz/
Meaning
Beyond the sticky sweetener on the biscuit table, molasses is rural Southern shorthand for a person, chore, or machine that will not hurry up. Folks usually wrap it in a simile: slow as molasses, or slow as molasses in January when they want the full insult. Cold weather thickens the real stuff, so January is the punchline.
How folks use it
- “That checkout line was molasses tonight.”
- “Don't wait on him. He's molasses in January when there's work to do.”
Origin and etymology
Molasses was everyday sweetener on Southern farms, so everybody knew how slow it poured. "Slow as cold molasses" shows up in print by the 1850s. "Molasses in January" follows later in the 1800s. The Boston Molasses Flood of 1919 did not invent the saying; the phrase was already around. Country talk kept the image close because folks still cook with the stuff.
Frequently asked questions
Do people really call someone molasses?
Sometimes. More often you'll hear "slow as molasses." Either way, they mean you're dragging.