busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest
So slammed with work you barely have a free hand.
Also called busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.
Updated September 21, 2026
busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest pronunciation
/BIZ-ee-er than uh WUN-leg-id man in an ASS-kick-in KON-test/
Meaning
A loud rural Southern way to say you are run ragged. The joke is the picture: somebody hopping around in a fight they cannot win, same as you chasing chores, customers, or kids. Folks swap in "butt-kicking" when they want it a little milder, but the idea stays the same.
How folks use it
- “Don't call me this week. I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.”
- “That garage stayed busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest all deer season.”
Origin and etymology
Comic "busier than" similes go back over a century. Print shows "busier than a one-legged man at a kicking contest" by 1917. The sharper "ass-kicking contest" version shows up later in books and talk, including Southern writers like Pat Conroy. It sits beside cousins like "busier than a one-armed paperhanger." Exact birthplace is unclear; the mouth-feel belongs to porch-and-shop exaggeration.
Frequently asked questions
Is this the same as busier than a one-armed paperhanger?
Same job: saying you are buried in work. This one leans on a fight joke. The paperhanger joke leans on wallpaper.